


The Lady's Not for Ransom

by ShahbanouScheherazade



Category: Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies)
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-25
Updated: 2013-08-25
Packaged: 2017-12-24 16:00:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/941846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShahbanouScheherazade/pseuds/ShahbanouScheherazade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack must negotiate with desperate men to effect a ransom. Their hostage? Giselle, of course!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lady's Not for Ransom

**Author's Note:**

> To My Readers: Thank you so much for your kudos and comments. It means a lot to me when I hear your feedback, and I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your support!
> 
> Originally written as a challenge response to prompt "kidnap" for the FF-forum The Black Pearl.
> 
> NOTE: I have no claim whatsoever to any of the brilliant POTC characters; I am grateful to be sitting at a banquet table set by truly talented storytellers.

As the barman set the bottle of rum before him, Jack Sparrow was surprised to see two crewmen from Bellamy's ship settle in to the empty chairs at his table. "Boz, Chalky," he acknowledged them with a cautious nod. The two were grinning with anticipation; clearly they had something out of the ordinary to communicate.

"We 'eard ye done well with yer latest venture," Chalky observed, pouring a tot from Jack's bottle into his own tankard.

"No complaints," answered Jack, half-closing his eyes and studying the pair as he retrieved his bottle. "Word has it you didn't go empty-handed either after you attacked the Spanish plate fleet."

Boz shrugged and leaned back in his chair. "Ay," he replied, "We done well enough, Jack" – _Captain Sparrow to you_ , thought Jack – "but we've a mind t' make a good market on somethin' else – somethin' ye might take an interest in."

"Spill it," said Jack.

"We've taken the liberty of removin' yer lady love to a nice, quiet spot," Boz explained, "An' she won't be seein' any more o' Tortuga – or you – unless you pay out 'alf the cap'n's share o' yer venture t' me an' Chalky. That's reasonable, innit? Not too much t'ask?"

Jack sat immobile, facing the men, but darted his eyes quickly from side to side, glancing at the crowd in the taproom and trying to determine which lady love they might mean. He could see Scarlett, Little Katty, Mags, Leticia ... but where was Giselle?

"You've kidnapped Giselle?" he asked, evidently surprised by their choice.

"Ay, mate, an' if ye wants to know where we're keeping 'er, ye'll bring us the coin tonight," Chalky emphasised.

Jack frowned thoughtfully for a moment before answering. "Right, gents," he replied agreeably. "Tell y' what: I'm willin' to strike a bargain. You tell me where she is." He looked from one to the other.

"That's it?" Boz exclaimed in disbelief.

"That's it, Bozzy," said Jack, making a wide gesture with his arms.

"No ransom?" Chalky put in.

"No ransom," Jack confirmed. "You've an hour to think it over, mates." He took the bottle and his tankard and, weaving his way across the room, joined Scarlett at another table, leaving Chalky and Boz staring after him, open-mouthed.

The next day, as Jack was giving Mr Gibbs orders for provisioning the _Pearl_ , he heard cries of "Oi! Cap'n Sparrow! Cap'n Sparrow!" _So today it's 'Captain', is it?_ Jack thought, smiling to himself. He turned to see Chalky and Boz walking towards him on the quay. As they approached him, Jack noted that Boz was walking with an awkward gait, whilst Chalky was holding a rag to his mouth and seemed to be nursing a toothache.

"What can I do for you, gents?" Jack asked blandly when they stood before him with embarrassed looks.

"She's fiery, that one," mumbled Chalky, indistinctly through the rag.

"Oh? What happened?" Jack asked, looking mildly interested.

"We brought 'er a bite o' supper," Boz began, standing in a way that looked quite uncomfortable, "An' ... she was in a very bad mood." Wincing, he added, "Ye might say, very bad indeed."

Chalky chimed in, although his words were muffled. "Poor ol' Bozzy was puttin' the plate down, and she kicked him where it hurts! Good thing 'e don't need any more progeny – know wot I mean?" Jack sucked a quick breath of air through his teeth and gave Boz a sympathetic look.

"Then Chalky gave her a tankard of ale," Boz added, "But she swung it at him and cracked 'is tooth."

Chalky took the rag away from his jaw and Jack grimaced to see the pirate's swollen, split lip and broken stump of a tooth. "Fiery," Chalky repeated, with difficulty. "Blondes ain't supposed t' be fiery."

Boz proffered a scrap of paper to Jack. "'Ere – take it. That's where she is. Just – do us a favour an' collect 'er, eh? We've decided t' stick t' piratin'."

Jack looked surprised and held up his palms, refusing the paper. "Oh, no, mates," he told them. "Sorry; me offer has expired." The two scallywags looked shaken and alarmed. Jack sighed, put one hand to his chin, and appeared to think. Then he brightened.

"Tell y' what," he offered, "Here's what I'll do: you bring me your shares of the plate fleet raid, an' I'll take 'er off your 'ands. Do we have an accord?"

As Chalky and Boz burst out with a string of objections, Jack shrugged and turned back to Mr Gibbs, who was doing his best to keep a solemn expression. There was a whispered conference between the two kidnappers, snatches of which Jack could hear over his shoulder as the two departed.

Jack grinned at Mr Gibbs. "They're afraid of what she'll do next," he announced.

Mr Gibbs chuckled. "Aye, t'is almost feedin' time again," he said, a glint of amusement in his eye.

On the following morning, Jack received a dirty, misspelt note telling him that Shadrac Newbold had a chest for him. Newbold was a Tortugan goldsmith and money-changer who served as the closest thing to a banker that most pirates had. "About bloody time," Jack muttered to himself, then summoned Mr Gibbs.

Shadrac Newbold greeted Jack warmly, as befitted one of his best customers. He brought out a small but heavy chest and handed Jack a note. Before reading the note, Jack opened the chest, which had been packed so tightly that gold doubloons immediately began to spill out of it. Mr Gibbs took charge of the chest and set about conveying it to the _Pearl_.

"Why didn't they bring it themselves, I wonder?" Jack asked Mr Newbold.

"Oh," replied Mr Newbold, "They're both at the surgeon's – some cove must have laid into them a fair treat last night!"

"Ah, well; you've to mind yourself in this town," Jack remarked, reading the address in the note.

In the basement of an abandoned boarding house on the outskirts of town, a door opened and a shaft of sunlight made its way into the darkness. Giselle looked up from where she sat on a dirty wool mattress; as soon as she saw who stood in the doorway, her furious scowl was swiftly replaced by a tender, pleading expression. Rising to her feet, she quickly touched her hair and adjusted her gown to make sure she looked as coy and fetching as possible.

"Oh Jack – at last!" she cried, throwing herself into his arms. "I knew you'd save me!" She covered his face with grateful kisses until he gently unclasped her arms from his neck with a smile.

"Of course I did, darlin'," he remarked. "I'm Captain Jack Sparrow!"

Giselle assumed her prettiest expression, turning her blue eyes upon him with an admiring, dreamy look. "Did you have to pay them a massive ransom?" she asked with a slight simper, her vanity aching to hear that the great Captain Jack Sparrow thought her worth a staggering sum.

"Let's just say a great deal of money changed hands, love." He traced the outline of her face with his fingers.

"Yes, but how much did you have to give them?" she asked, breathless. Oh, what a time she'd have flaunting her story and watching Scarlett burn with jealousy!

But Jack merely smiled as his arm encircled her waist. "Don't you worry about that, darlin'," he said, kissing her. "You were worth every penny."


End file.
